What a crazy summer it has been for us! We have had so much fun going to the pool, visiting family and friends in Tennessee and North Carolina, going to the library and just enjoying the warm weather! Earlier in the summer Luke and I started doing "happy hours" on the back porch. It was great! The kids ran around, we drank wine and talked, so fun. During one of our happy hours we discussed our plans for adoption. I wanted to respect Luke's processing and decision making, but I had been living in limbo for months. I didn't need an answer right then, quite the opposite, but I asked to be plucked from limbo by Caroline's second birthday. It was quite a few months away, so I felt like I wasn't laying on any pressure. It was a great conversation...I love wine!
And from there, life went on. I continued in limbo land, but I felt good that we had an end date. It wasn't really on my mind as much. Probably a week later, Luke and I were talking about random stuff, and then he turns to me and tells me that he can either live life based on principles or based on fear. He still was a bit afraid, but he wanted to live life based on principles. I was (and am) so proud of him. In that moment I was like, "wow. I am the luckiest woman in the world." When faced with a very scary and hard decision that many, many people would write off immediately, he stopped, he asked God what His plans were and he listened. Regardless of if his answer matched my desires, I would have felt good about the conclusion.
What a relief! It was so great that, no matter what the outcome, we had a plan. A very loose plan, but a general direction none-the-less.
Over the next month I researched agencies and states and when my head was officially full, I presented my findings to the board (myself and Luke), then we had some friends over who have been through the process twice and pumped them for information. This is after I contacted a few friends via email who have also adopted. Phew!
So now, we've chosen a state, we are applying to an agency that we feel good about, and we do what we do best: paperwork and waiting. My biggest accomplishment is moving forward! We have decided to stay on the list in China. At this point it can't hurt anything to just be there and we don't have guarantees for domestic any more than international.
Overall we are excited, hopeful and at peace. Thankful for our beautiful family and God making himself so real and evident in the decision-making process.